so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I would fuck him just for his dog
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
