Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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