Already got asked if we're dating
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
