This girl is more easily done than said...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
