I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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