I wish I could punch you in the face.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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