You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
