Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
