she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Randomize
