I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
