booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just cropdusted the office
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's shark week go big or go home
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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