Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
