I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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