Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
