I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
