Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
