Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
