I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
