Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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