gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize