um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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