My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
