I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
