then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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