This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
