His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
