that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses youâ€
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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