Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Terrible idea I love it
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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