Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think I sprained my soul last night
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
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