Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
