could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The feeling are messing with the penis
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
