Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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