youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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