giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That accounts for only three of the penises
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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