I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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