I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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