she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
