i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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