11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I am available for nakedness
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
