I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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