Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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