he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
