Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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