it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
