At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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