i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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