If that was your dad, he is hot
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
