I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My dick has a subreddit
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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