Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
