I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
