i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
