The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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