We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
