Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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