I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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