Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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