We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
