**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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