wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
