i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
