just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
