im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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