new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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