Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
