I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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