Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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