absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
