You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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