If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
