I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
