i think my mom watched the whole time
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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