it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize